Cuddle pt.2

i was about to sleep na..
kaso di ako mkatulog besides him...
i dont know what will happen..
im a bit nervous...
di na ko bata.. i know what will happen if
you sleep w/ the guy you like besides you...
alam na...

so i whisper to his ears...
coz i know his not sleeping...
pinakiraramdaman nya ko.. hehe
i said..

"may sasabihin ako sayo"
...
"ano yun??"
...
"do you like me... kasi.. I like you but for now im looking forward to be your friend.."
...
he replied..
"ahmm... mas ok for now kung friends... but i like you"...
...
i was flattered seriously?!! pachicks kaya ako...
"ahhh... ok"

.......

so di na kami nakatulog...
nagusap nalang kami about mutual friends... family... personality etc..
sobrang totoo nya lang...
there's no adds on sa lahat ng kwento nya...
its just him...
most of the stories his telling was his failures and embarassment...
and most also are positives about him...
seriously walang guy na magsasabi ng mga embarassing and
failure moments nya... basta basta right...
basta ang dami namin pinagusapan....
we were enjoying talking too much...
hanggang sa nanahimik na kami....
and sabi nya nilalamig daw sya...
pero ung totoo ako naiinitan na??!!
kahit umuulan.. ang init padin...
so i dont know if gusto lang nya yakapin sya???
kaya kumuha ako ng kumot... to cover him...
kaso nilalamig padin daw sya...
so i asked him na...

"Gusto mo.. ihug kita??"
....
"Ikaw Bahala?"
...
i knew it,,, gusto lang talaga mayakap nito... haha...
(PBB TEENS)

so dumating na kami sa lambingan session at tuloy usap usap ulit...
hanggang sa pati mga buhok buhok sa katawan napagusapan nadin namin...
kasi parehas kaing balbon...
and i was telling him na tumutubo na ung chest hair ko...
and ayun meron din daw sya...
pero inaahit nya...
inangat nya yung damit nya...
hawakan ko daw ung chest nya... na inaahit nya...
at ayun ang kati!!!... kasi tumutubo na...
at pinipilit nya yung kamay ko na ihug sya...
ang kati talaga..haha...
patu bandang sa puson nya my mga tumutubo nadin...
and his holding my hands to touch does itchy hairs...
hanggang sa hinila nya pababa yung hands ko sa *toot* nya...

"ANo yun????"
....
"haha... ano pa ba??"
...
"Sabi ko ano yun.. parang wala naman??"
..
"ahh.. wala pala huh???!!! eto ka!.. HAHAHA"
...
"adik ka??!! seryoso ka...?? now? dito? sa kabilang kwarto lang sila oh?"
...
"oo dito.. now na.."
...
"adik ka!!! ang naughty mo pala! hehe"
...
"Looks can be deceiving.. haha..."

(AND THE REST WAS HISTORY)

after the Boom Boom part... actually nag end up lang sa Blow Job To Hand Job...
kasi nga mahirap na baka mahuli pa kami... si JANINE??!!!
GOsssshhhhhh i cant imagine??!!!!

i was expecting na after ng Boom Boom moments... ay uuwi na sya?
like those other guys i make Love with... na after ng Boom part...
ayun,.. uuwi na sila.. :((
but this one is different... he stayed at my side...
and sleep... we sleep together hugging w/ each other and holding each other hands... ♥
it was different... and i hope this is really different...

It was aroung 4:00am nung ginsing nya ko..
uuwi na daw sya... kasi my pasok pa sya....
and thats it... hinatid ko sya sa labas hanggang makasakay sya
ng trycle... and my night was AMAZING!!...
it was Great!... hehe ♥

Temper

Today... another bad day..
im so fucked up...
i lost my temper again w/ doreimon....
Why do i always lost my temper w/ that guy...
kakainis....

Seriously nasaktan ako sa sinabi nya..
never nya kasi ako tnawag na ganun...
yung GAY word in tagalog version...
sapul Ego ko...
para akong sinampal...
much better if minura nya nalang ako,...
kasi the way that he said it...
parang papa ko yung nagsalita...
so nawala ako ng sandali sa sarili ko...
and everything na gnawa sakin ng dad ko...
nagflash back.... stress...
so di ko na namalayan na tumulo na yung
luha ko... hay....

kaya ayaw ni janine na nasstress ako...
because she knows my past....
pag nasstress ako...
ang dami ko naiisip...
all my problems in the past...
in one whole package... naiisip ko...
so i get sad.. dramatic and everything...

kaya kaysa ano pa magawa ko...
because im loosing my temper...
i decided to go home nalang...
para wala ng gulo...
but di ko talaga napigilan
kahit na nilibang ko na sarili ko at home..
i txt him w/ bad words....
i even call his cell...
actually those words... means nothing...
compare sa nafeel ko...
yung mga words na binitiwan ko...
wala yun sa naramdaman ko how he called me
GAY!... infront of other people...

i really want to kill him...
kasi his making me stress again...
hay....
pinapahiya nya ko sa ibang tao...
he treat me like nothing....
he doesnt trust me...
his not interested w/ my life...
i feel his using me for something .. that i dont know...
so why should i stick w/ a friend like that...
madami naman akong friends...
na mas nakakaintindi sakin... so why should i
stay w/ someone that doesnt listen...
w/ no concern... what a fake.... hay...
kung my choice lang ako...
para di sya makita... or malipat ako ng project,,,
mwala lang sa paningin nya...

bakit ba hindi nya nararamdaman
yung galit sa kanya ng tao...
bat kaylangan nya pa magtanong...
wla ba syang sense of humor...
wla ba syang pakiramdam...
ganun ba kamanhid...
hindi ba sya nagiisip...
bara bara nalang ba sya palagi sa actions nya...
so WHY?!!!
WHY are you making me stressss!!!!!!....

Cuddle pt.1

A good relationship starts ba w/ a good sex fo the first night
you been together...?
Does sex should always comes first ba when it comes to
same sex relationships...
ganun ba talaga batayan ngayon?
sex comes first?


Last night i got a date...
his a guy from our company but in a different project...
we have a lot of common friends..
so medyo di ako masyadong nagkekwento w/ my friends
between us...
kasi mahirap na maissue... dba?
anyway ayun lumabas kaming dalawa...
it was unexpected kasi nung morning kachat ko lang sya sa fb..
then yun his going to SM daw to buy beanie aka bonet...
I ask him if gusto nya samahan ko sya..
kasi nga wala sya kasama.. plus.. wala din naman ako
gagawin that time..
So we ended up that night..
sinamahan ko sya at Harbor Point and we headed to
Penshoppe store kaso wala kaming nagustuhan na beanie..
so we ended up in bench store and we were lucky kasi SALE sila..
and after kakatingin ng bonet.. ayun nakapili nadin kami...
plus he bought to clothes nadin kasi almost half ung dicount per tees...

After malling galore...
we decided to watch movie "Total Recall"
it was fun.. lalo na pag nagdidikit ung braso namin..
sa sandalan nung chair.. hehe.. kinikilabutan ako...
kasi nga mabilis ako ginawin...
so after movie i was expecting na uuwi na kami...
but he said na he wants to visit my place daw..
kaya we headed at my place...
dun namin naabutan sila janine,zhane,yuan,aris...
and he gets along naman.. kasi di naman sya ganun ka shy type..
so ang ending feel at home sya.. hehe...

after ilang hours after we ate dinner...
inaantok na daw sya...
so i asked him if he wants to come home na...
kasi my pasok pa sya ng 8am... so baka mapuyat pa sya if
he stays long at my place...
but he insist na magstay pa daw sya..
pero halata namang antok na sya or ( antok antukan??) hehe
so nilabas ko yung isang matress sa kwarto para
dun kami sa sala matulog kasi kahut papano...
ilang padin sya w/ my housemates...
but i told him na gising sya ng 1am kasi my
pasok pa sya ng 8am...
so ako nadin nagset ng Alarm clock nya...
and ayun nakatulog na sya,...

after almost 2 hours ata?? cant remember,,,
nagring na yung alarm ng cp nya,,
but pinatay nya lang yun...
and i asked him if uuwi na ba sya...
he replied na samin na daw sya matulog...
maaga nalang daw sya gigising...

so natulog nadin ako besides him kasi medyo late
nadin plus ang dami kong ginwa that day...



TO BE CONTINUED....

ERE~

Di ko alam bakit ang mulala nya...
dapat di na sinasabi sa kanya yung
mga ganong bagay...
yung time na iniwan nya ko sa ere...
alam nyo na...
si doreimon.. hehe...
mukang tanga kasi dba...
bat mo pa sasabihin sa taong
mangiiwan...
para ano??! samahan ka ulit ?
how pathetic of me dba...
pero nasabi ko na ehh.. kabadtrip tuloy...
that Bitch!...
hay... yung totoo naiilang nadin
kasi ako kasama sya..
kasi nga ang akward na dba..
kaylangan paba sabihin sa kanya
na direct to the point na nangiwan sya sa ere...
hindi nya ba narealize un???
bakit medyo ilag na din ako sa kanya...

actually nakamove on na ko eh...
my mga kasa kasama nakong iba...
so bat eto nanaman sya.
dikit na naman ng dikit...
tapos babawi???
san pa... sira na nga lahat...
di na tayo nagkakasundo...
kaya much better if sumama sya dun kay reyzhel..
kasi muka naman mas enjoy sya dun...
after all my efforts para maging caring and true friend...
ganun nalang...
iwanan na lang ba ako...
pero nakagetover na ko sa iwanan moment na yan...
kaso ung pride ko dba.. parang binato sakin...
kasi nga nalaman nya na yung reason...
na may sama ako ng loob sa kanya...
na hindi man lang nya narealize??????
ANG MULALA!! talaga... naku!.. tsk.tsk...

KJ (love StrucK)

yung akala nyo kayo na till the end..
yung kayo na soulmates...
yung sya na si destiny...
yung kayo talaga ment to be..
yung almost perfect love...
yung ganung akala...
....................................

but one mistake can break it all apart..
and one thing is left...
a heartbreak...

its a story of  Love..mistake.. trust.. but its all about Love ♥...

a story of my two special friends...
and they are one sweet couple...
i seen them together w/ shimmer in there eyes...
yung kislap sa mata nila everytime magkasama silang dalawa...
yung smiles nila full of love everytime they talk...
makikita mo talaga sa kanila yung true love...
yung true love na hindi mo basta basta makikita
sa ordinary couples...

but after 5 years together...
may mga happenings na hindi inaasahan...
lets say its a mistake to make it formal...
naging unfaithful yung isa...
and the other one finds out..
and turns out into WAR!...

based on my opinion...
its a world full of wrong...
walang perfect na tao..
everyone make mistakes..
nobody's perfect...

but kahit sino namang typical partner
magagalit sa unfaithfulness nung isa..
its a natural behavior ng kahit sinong normal na tao..
hindi natin sya pede sisihin kung may nasabi
man sya or nagawang masama...
kasi kinain na sya ng anger...
galit na hindi dahil sa he/she hates you...
his angry because he loves you...
and his angry ano ba nagawa nya para maging
unfaithful ung isa...
nagkulang ba sya...
is it not enough??...
his angry why you do such a thing...
kahit sino magagalit sa ginawa nung isa...

WHY?!! (thats the first question)
.......................

but i know you guys really love each other...
walang makakasira jan...
maraming pagsubok sa relasyon..
and i think this one is tough...
oo mahirap but its a challenge na
pag nalampasan nyo it will make your relationship
more stronger and better...
if you guys still love each other...
you can get through this mess...

i know at this moment...
masakit padin..
but ones na huminahon na ang lahat...
im sure you will realize every good times you been through...

so dont give up everything...
your job..
your carrier..
your life..

because ones you gave it up..
it will make you look weaker!!!

walang perfect na relasyon...
remember all the good times you had..

yung 1st kiss..
yung 1st monthsary..
yung 1st anniversary...
yung 1st flowers and chocolates...
yung 1st time na sinabi nyo sa isat isa yung word na "I LOVE YOU"

alalahanin nyo lahat ng yun...
lahat ng challenges you been through..
pano kayo nagkakilala...
yung moment na sinagot ka nya..
yung moment na sinagot mo sya...
yung moment na naging kayo...
Think about it...

WALANG PERFECT NA RELATIONSHIP... :)

Colleagues

last saturday, aug.18,2012...

was my colleagues mates birthday..

and grabe after many months...

lang ulit kami nagbonding w/ my

engineering classmates...

it was so fun...

full of happines... sobrang namiss ko talaga cla...

its around 6pm ng narecieve ko ung messge nila from

fcebook...

and yun agad agd ako pumunta sa lagoon..

for shot...

naka 3 kaming Antonov and 3 GSM Blue...

i ws really drunk... but the moments and happiness

that night.. hinding hindi ko makakalimutan..

I really miss them and yun sila 1 semester

nalang graduate na... Engineers!!...

im so proud of them...

ang hirap ng engineering noh!..

SUICIDAL!!!

so sobrang stream naman ako sa facebook

to check our pictures.. during college days...

hay sobrang kamiss lang,,

but im happy kung saan at istado ko ngayun,,,

coz im happy and contented..

Photographers.... :}

seriously i checked out my photography group before...

i checked all there facebook accounts...

and sobrang nainggit ako kasi naman..

lahat sila naglevel up... while ako im stuck w/ my boring job...

hay.. i miss photography so much..

im one of the best.. but now im nothing...

i have something to show..

na hindi ko mapakita.. because i dont have a goddamn DSLR...

so i decide to buy one... and list it on my Wish List!!!..

but first i need a computer.. and gawin munang stable yung Living ko...

then i will go back on track again...

i realized ang dami ko na palang namiss..

because of my job...

nawala na ung fashion ko as an artist...

i became nobody..

a regular person na walang something to show and to prove...

hayyyyyyyyy....

sign of againg ba to?!!!

no way.!!!!

so heres my photography mates...

 

 

undecided haircut?!!!!

i want to get my bangs back on track again...

so namimili ako ng hairstyle that suites me...

i know janine will hate me doing this Kpop thing again..

i just want the haircut.. not the music and pacute pictures again....

its so college days....

basta... im sure what suites my style...

medyo napapabayaan ko nadin kasi pormahan ko this days..

nakakatamad din kasi..

dahil wala naman makakaapreciate sa effort ng pagporma mo...

sino ba? mga employees sa work????!! wahaha...

basta... i need to get rid with my looks and style again...

napagiiwanan na ko ng mga trpa ko sa labas...

ayoko malosyang sa trabaho....

Pormahan na!!!

Payday! BadDAY!!?

                             Its Payday i supposed to go out and party!!!???

       

         But i stayed at home kasi ang liit ng sahod ko... so i choose to be ALONE!!

    

            

            Pero naisip ko... my friends are having fun outside!? kaya nabibwisit ako!!!

                 

                      

                      So i rather watched  Porn rather than inisin ko lang sarili ko...

                    

                                

                                                               THE END

Disaster!!!

Yesterday i go to work early in the morning around 7:30am...

it was raining so hard for past 2 days...

and the rain wont stop...

while im busy at work...

madami akong naririning na lubog na daw sa baha 

ung olongapo, which is my city.,..

and yun nga...

bahang baha na nga sa gapo...

as in baha... 

i texted my roomates...

kung inabot naba ung apartment namin..

but sad news binaha na nga kami...

i was deciding if uuwi pa ba ako..

or straight duty na ko till tomorow...

kaso di naman ako ganun ka selfish!!!

nagwoworry din naman ako sa mga

kasama ko sa apartment...

so i decided to go home...

and i was shocked na even sa 14th gate hanggang legs na

yung baha,...

i never experience such a thing...

compare sa flooding last yr..

pero di naman ganun kalala...

so i walked home...

with my coworker malyn..

na sinundo pa nila mike at fortz...

and after half an hour... i made it...

nakapunta na ko sa aprtment...

but hindi naman ganun kalala ung baha..

sa place namin.. kasi mataas din naman yung lugar...

and ayun... the room was flooded for about 2 hours..

then natuyo na yung kwarto..

then i sleep na... with out big matress!!!

PS: im not worried at home .. dun sa sta. rta...

were my family lives... its the lowest part of the city..

at i know prepared na sila sa mga gantong klaseng baha..

in other words.. the are PRO's when it comes to Floods!!!

Friends

"Masarap maging SINGLE,
masaya maging TAKEN,

pero alam yung the best?
yung tipong SWEETFRIEND lang..

...
But you get the feeling of being TAKEN and the freedom of being SINGLE"

..................................

based on my last post...

http://bakitchan.blogspot.com/2012/08/badtrip.html

im too rude saying bad words with doreimon...

masyado lang talaga akong warfreak...

even na alam kong di ko gusto yung sinasabi ko....

yung i know na ayaw ko naman talaga na ganun yung mangyari...

i dont really want to destroy our friendship...

i dont wanna loose and forget all the moments we had...

i dont wanna loose him as my friend...

his not a Looser and his not a Feeler...

i dont even know bat ko sinulat yun...

its not me... its my anger...

di ko dapat sinulat yun...

kasi alam ko naman his not like that...

his the best guy i ever met...

masyado lang ako nagpadala sa emotion ko..

na i hindi ko na nacontrol and burst out on my mind...

at sinalo nalang ng article... hehe...

so last night...

we celebrate Aries birthday for half an hour ata. haha...

its a simple celebration...

konting spaghetti and chicken donated by Janine..

were so broke na wala na talaga kaming panghanda!

it was fun though... money is not a big deal

if the celebration is Fun and unforgetable.. haha..

after the short time celebration...

nanood na kami ni janine.. ng LOST.. season 1..

at yun nalost ako at nakatulog..

i left janine.. watching the whole night...

nagising ako mga around 11:30am na ata,.,,

pero wla na si janine.. and he left his laptop beside my bed...

at ayun umuwi na pala si gaga.. but his coming back later...

to celebrate Aries birthday again..haha

...................

i log in to my facebook..

and yun.. nagmessage si doreimon...

too end this story short....

nagsorry ako with him..

being rude...

being bitter..

the pangbabara ko sa kanya,...

to all the bad things na sinasabi ko sa kanya....

for being warfreak...

and i explain to him.. na...

kaya naman ako nagkakaganto kasi

im hating myself dahil lahat lahat naman to..

ako my kasalanan...

from the first place kung di ko naman talaga binigyan

ng meaning lahat,.. diba?

ayoko talaga siraan lahat...

so i guess tama na yung pagiging rude...

and get back on shape ulit...

Badtrip??

back at work...
i dont know..
pero ang weird kasi badtrip ata sakin si doreimon...
and i dont care...
haha...
basta bitter padin ako...
and i dont even know the fucking reason why??!!!!
mukang tanga...
i think much better na yung ganto diba..
di ko din naman sya pinapansin before..
bakit sino ba sya!!...
LOOOSSERRR!!
FEEELEERRRR!!
EPALLLLLL!!!!!
wahaha

and goddd... my nagkwento sakin...
na kwinento nya about sa feelings ko sa kanya...

Mistery Guy: ano ba meron sa inyo ni chanchan?

Doreimon: ahmm.. ano kasi... nahuhulog na sya sakin... (sabay tawa daw)

ANG FEEEELEEERRRR mo!!!..
kairita kalang....
im really hating you so much! it Hurts!!...
Hoy wala na!! wala na! kaya wag kang Feeler!!
the reason why im acting stupid...
kasi KAKABADTRIP na sa dinami dami ng
nalink sakin... SAYO pa ko babagsak!!

Sobrang Ang Hirap isipin...
kaya nakakairita!!!
kaya wag kang Feeler....

TRY TO COMPARE THE PICTURES BELOW!!!!!!

ayoko sanang magkagalit tayo...
pero mas ok na kasi ung wala!! yung as in Clear History...
erase all memories... like i erased my family...
i can easily do it cause i done it once...
so kung pede lang...
act like di tayo naging close... and everything...
act like im just your normal co-worker...
and stop hugging me... and stop calling my name..
and stop laughing dahil naiirita ako sa tawa mo!...
pati sa MUKA MO!!!

Paminta

wala ako mapost.,, kasi boring ang day ko for today...

so i add something exciting... some of my gayguy friends...

and gayguys na nainvolve sa buhay ko...

that circulates on my teenage years... nung mga panahon

pariwara pa talaga ako...

Enzo 
one of my nicest friend na ex  ng ex ko... na naging ex ni christian
na naging jowa ni John  na ex ni Zhyver aka flirt no.2...

na si zhyver na ex ni christian at nakaflirt ko...

John

nakaemotan ko before na ex ni zhyver na nakaemotan ko din 3rd yr. 

1st semester na jowa ngayun ni enzo na ex ng ex ko. haha :D

Wynn

friend ni Kat na naging friend ko na din na jowa ngayon ni Francis na

nalink kay Emjay because of me.. na ex ni Jayson na ex ni Jaypee

na naging ex nya din na gusto din karirin si enzo!

Emjay

his like my kuya na.. we became friends na nilakad ko sya kay Wynn  

pero di din sila nagworkout na di ko alam for what reason

na ex nadin ni Enzo!!!

Jayson 

ex ni Wynn at ex din ni Jaypee na naging ex ng dalawa

at naging magjowa din ung dalawa nyan ex.! at naging sila

ni Mhykel na nakaemotan ko at in the end ako naging

tulay... but ended up nung sa manila nagwork si Mhykel.

Mhykel

nakaemotan ko before na naging ex nu Jayson..

na napadpad kung saan at ngayon wala na

kong balita.. haha

Francis

friend ni Kat na naging friend ko nadin na current partner ngayon ni Wynn..

na classmate before ni Luigi na workmate ko..

Christian

ex ni enzo na ex ni zhyver at karamay ko basta

kalandian at lovelife.!! haha

Gold

One of the most important guy...

sya lang talaga yung nageffort sakin,..

kaso abnormal pa ko during that time..

so inignore ko lang sya ng inignore with all his effort..

then one day... nawala sya... and dun ko naramdaman

yung SPARK.. but its too late na...

he belong to someone else na.. but after ilang months

they break up... his one of the guy na iniyakan ko

then last was doreimon.. haha.. 3 sila actually.. the other one

is nonsense na nagcause ng pagiging flirt ko,. hehe

but if my chance na magkalapit ulit ka me ni Gold...

gossssHHH!! di ko na papalampasin,...

I love this GUY!!! huhu.. nasa huli nga ang pagsisisi.. hehe

ME!

Last but not the list me..... haha.. eepal lang...

nakaemotan si Zhyver, si John , si Mhykel...

na ex ngayon ng mga exe's nila!!! wahahahaha!!!! TOINKS!

but now... changing for the better...

Fail!

Hey..its August!!!!
a fresh start for a change...
pero yung totoo first day of august..
late ako ng 1 hour sa work!!!???
thats what you call "CHANGE"!!??!!


anyway back to my first day of august,..
i feel bad kasi i seen my friend at work...
nagtetake sya ng exam for content writer which is
hiring sa work ko...
na envy lang ako kasi naman, shes looking for a job
na gusto nya talagang gawin..
compare to me im stuck on that company...
type type everyday... How BORING!!!!!!
if you compare it with my life in college...
sobrang dami kong dreams...
ang dami kong gusto gawin sa life ko after college..
pero eto.. nastuck ako sa computer type ng type magdamag...

Im a talented person.. madami akong skills...
im an artist.. a writer... a photographer.. im smart enough and. im a creative person...
i deserve a better job!!!...
now im upset... this is not what i want...
i want something extraordinary!!!
yung hilig ko talaga?
alam mo yun... yung masaya kang ginagawa mo...
dapat ang trabaho ineenjoy...
and i want a job like that...
i want to enhance my skills..
ayoko mawala sila while im still young...
i need to move forward!!!!
and im confident na kaya ko to...