WowwOorthless..

i dont what is this kind of feeling...
masyado lang siguro ako maemote ngayun...

for the current relationship i have right now...
i dont know what is this...
im not enjoying..
nothing extraordinary...
i cant feel it..
even though palagi nya ko nirireachout...
wala pa din..
i cant feel the butterlies with passing rainbows and
falling glitters on me...

this is sick...
i should ended this up..
pinapahirapan ko lang yung tao..
sobrang effort and adjust w/ my sched...
while here i am...
ganto lang O_O...

im confused..
parang ayaw ko na pumasok sa relationship
muna...
i dont really need it..
at madami lang ako nasasaktan along the way...
ayoko makarama...

I dont know....
meron bang mali pag naging single...
bakit ang daming taong ayaw na ayaw maging single..
at nagmumuka ng desperado magkarelasyon lang...
madami na kong nakitang ganun..
specially at work...
di naman ako desperado..nag mumuka lang
akong malandi sa pinaggagawa ko...
should i change na ba..
even i said it many times pero di ko naman  magawa...
hayy...

I dont know..
Bakit ba malaking issue ang pagiging single..
pede bang choice lang magpakasingle...
at wag mo ko itulad syo na panget...
at hirap magkajowa kaya may makita
lang na opportunity Kakaririn agad agad..
kasi nga desperado at uhaw magkarelasyon.??

ayoko matulad sa mga ganung tao...
i know my standards..
also my physical look..
im not that choosy naman..
basta i feel comfortable and happy w/ the guy...

im not into a trophy partner...
kasi mas lalo lang makikita ung kapangitan ko sa kanya..
haha.. tama ba???
Napatunayan ko na yan sa mga nakita kong
magjojowa... strangers, friends.. etc...

basta... i dont know.. puro ako i dont know...

I Dont Know?

In terms of my job right now...
medyo stressful na sa work...
things got so complicated lately...
na medyo nawawalan na ko ng gana magtrabaho...

gusto ko na magresign but...
madaming consiquences once i gave up my job...
ayoko naman maging tambay!!??
the fact na pede naman ako tumulong sa family business..
kaso boring yun... i wont grow up as a person and
an employee sa ganung field...
and on the other reason...
im not ready pa for a new kind of job...
as in wala akong idea...?

I dont know what to do..?
bored na bored na talaga ako and im not
a stress drama queen para magtiis sa nakakastress na trabaho...
di ko alam how long i can hold on... -___-
kasi...
maybe... its just another test to my patient...
how can i get through in that kind of situation without giving up...

HaiiiiissssttTTT!....

I dont Know...
Bahala na si DARNA!!!

Hello 2013

Its 2013!... Yey...
at its a great time for a fresh start...
2012 had been a good yr. for me...
and im not planning to write it down...
mas feel ko kasing iniisip isip ko nalang...
its a treasure on my mind na masarap balik balikan...

anyway...
i already move back to my family...
family nga ba? hehe..
im now leaving alone... w/ my lola..
na hindi din naman madalas nandun..
bcoz shes busy w/ many stuffs like church etc..
so i feel alone padin pag nasa bahay na ko...
kaya most of the time after work...
i rather catch up some tv shows and matulog nalang...
its a new daily routine padin...
na still changing...
kasi bumibisibisita dun mga cousins ko...
and chikahan for a while..
normal cousin to cousins bonding...

i realized na im getting old na...
im not bragging anything na im getting old na so kaylangan mature maturan kana...
sabi nga ni Aris sakin... im asking him...
na once i reached the age of 25 dapat im already holding on to something
na my family would be proud of me...
and im wrong w/ that... masyado akong nagmamadali...
i should enjoy my life habang young pa ko dba...
like aris said ang edad number lang un...
its your attitude that counts...

So i change all my plans to stay at my work..
and forget the Abroad issue...
nageenjoy padin naman ako w/ my friends...
specially w/ Janine...
i dont want to leave agad agad bcoz of them..
dahil sa personal plans and goals ko...
i rather stay here and reach my goals w/ them...
its to early pa para magmadali...
i want to live my life first...

plus im planning to study this yr..
my lola is convincing me all the time...
she really want me to finished my study...
yung may panghahawakan ba...
but i dont know...
di ko alam...
ayoko naman pilitin ung sarili ko na hindi bukal sa loob ko...
maybe pag i feel its time na...
but i have so many plans this 2013!..
like i want to invest into something...
yung may pupuntahan..
i want to start my own business..
like my titas are telling me...
na "almost 2 yrs. kana sa work mo, pero wala ka manlang investment"
ung totoo medyo nangliliit ako sa sarili ko...
yung cousin ko kasi opened a curtain store na sa Bataan...
Goshh.. magkaedad lang kame... and ayokong kinocompare ako
sa kanya...
hindi naman ako nakikipagkompitensya pero..
at her young age nakapag invest na sya into something...
at ako wala pa...
maybe im too much enjoying my life...
pero un ako ehhh...
im not her!..
but magiinvest ako for my own good nadin...
im glad na may mga tita ako na nanjan lang palagi...
i loved them so much..
actually more than my parents..
kasi naman 60% ng life ko sa kanila ako nagexcist...
and najan lang sila palagi kahit na ang tigas na ng ulo ko...

all the pangaral na sinabi nila sakin...
na sinunod ko.. thats why im here right now...
confident and beautiful.. Chos!..

So this 2013!..
i will live my life...
start my own business...
and stay the same...
at tigilan na ung mature maturan drama!..
kasi ako to...
and they cant change the way i am...
KAPAK!!!! :D