Temper

Today... another bad day..
im so fucked up...
i lost my temper again w/ doreimon....
Why do i always lost my temper w/ that guy...
kakainis....

Seriously nasaktan ako sa sinabi nya..
never nya kasi ako tnawag na ganun...
yung GAY word in tagalog version...
sapul Ego ko...
para akong sinampal...
much better if minura nya nalang ako,...
kasi the way that he said it...
parang papa ko yung nagsalita...
so nawala ako ng sandali sa sarili ko...
and everything na gnawa sakin ng dad ko...
nagflash back.... stress...
so di ko na namalayan na tumulo na yung
luha ko... hay....

kaya ayaw ni janine na nasstress ako...
because she knows my past....
pag nasstress ako...
ang dami ko naiisip...
all my problems in the past...
in one whole package... naiisip ko...
so i get sad.. dramatic and everything...

kaya kaysa ano pa magawa ko...
because im loosing my temper...
i decided to go home nalang...
para wala ng gulo...
but di ko talaga napigilan
kahit na nilibang ko na sarili ko at home..
i txt him w/ bad words....
i even call his cell...
actually those words... means nothing...
compare sa nafeel ko...
yung mga words na binitiwan ko...
wala yun sa naramdaman ko how he called me
GAY!... infront of other people...

i really want to kill him...
kasi his making me stress again...
hay....
pinapahiya nya ko sa ibang tao...
he treat me like nothing....
he doesnt trust me...
his not interested w/ my life...
i feel his using me for something .. that i dont know...
so why should i stick w/ a friend like that...
madami naman akong friends...
na mas nakakaintindi sakin... so why should i
stay w/ someone that doesnt listen...
w/ no concern... what a fake.... hay...
kung my choice lang ako...
para di sya makita... or malipat ako ng project,,,
mwala lang sa paningin nya...

bakit ba hindi nya nararamdaman
yung galit sa kanya ng tao...
bat kaylangan nya pa magtanong...
wla ba syang sense of humor...
wla ba syang pakiramdam...
ganun ba kamanhid...
hindi ba sya nagiisip...
bara bara nalang ba sya palagi sa actions nya...
so WHY?!!!
WHY are you making me stressss!!!!!!....